Does everyone test furniture for sexual stability? I don’t know that they know what I’m doing when I’m bouncing and wiggling and shaking the chairs and sofas and mattresses. Every now and then I’ll give me kinky phone sex number to the sales dude so I can maybe trim down his commission and get some money off. Srsly dude, can your soap dish support half of your body weight? Mine can, and I learned that I needed one the hard way, if you know what I’m saying. So if you see me bouncing on furniture and a wicked smile on the sales dude’s face, throw me a wink because you know what’s up.
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